My Obituary

David Leon Reyes, aka ReyRey, nick named Pretty Boy in Middle School while playing football for the middle school because of a blind side hit that knocked the wind out of him…aka self proclaimed Jimmy’z in high school, finally went to prove his notion of a Reba McEntire song, “Is There Life Out There” today. The Step Son (maybe) of a Pentecostal Preacher who happened to be black and who he looked like more and more as he got older, and a self proclaiming witch who happened to be Mexican and taught him to embrace Caucasian Culture by making sure he pronounced his words “Like the Whites”,  sometimes painfully.

The Doctor, as he liked to call himself because of his initials, went from a nobody, to a somebody, then said “Fuck That”, I want to be a nobody again after America went crazy and voted in “He who should not be named”. From a preacher’s child beginning, to saying “I don’t like pain in football” to playing the flute. In High school to avoid bullying he switched to Percussion. He even became Junior Drum major, who quit for 30 minutes, because of a new director…

He went on to become a music and English major at UH. He didn’t finish, he became a Alum Gone Outti. He did however, in Facebook users opinions become a “Facebook Grammar Nazi”. He went on to work at the defunct Astroworld, making people pay to sing and take their voices home, on Cassette? How old is this guy? He also worked for Kroger, in various positions, but his secret to not eating the Rotisserie chicken will be lost.

He then joined the Army, not to serve his country, but damn those student loans (Which the Army never paid) were like, bam! He lived in a tent for 9 months, which he joked on stage when he became a comedian, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I wonder how much this is going to cost to get in the papers? He did suffer from PTDS, as he lost a friend, and it was a peace time mission when Yugoslavia fell apart in ’94. His decision that day not to go on the mission is what cost that Father’s life, or so he still believed before today.

He went on to get into a Love Triangle right out the the Army. He lost, so he decided to take the road less traveled and be an image in a woman’s mind when she was happily married for 10 years….if I have to explain…never mind. He got bored and moved into karaoke DJ, then comedy.  He even helped bring blogging to The Houston Chronicle when it first went online as Laugh101. It’s still there to this day in their server, which will make sense later on.

He performed with the likes of Carlos Mencia, Thea Vidal, Spanky, Danny Martinez, Roy Wood Jr, and others.  Three out of those five he liked. He hates the Improv, because of a deal gone bad…guess today really means he’ll never work there, ever. Anyways, he chose to be a road comic, going to the small towns to bring joy. He drank with Republican and Democratic Red Necks…sharing bottles of Jack.

He found his Soul Mate in in 2013, and for the first time went all in. He busted in 2015.  His comedy started to get dark and he chose to not perform again, calling her a towel Nazi was just too harsh. He decided to ditch the road because of whom they voted for… Get closer, he did perform a couple of times, but never for money again, or to small town America…shhhh. But he still wrote skits and bits until his untimely passing.

He will be remembered for a Muslim Woman falling out of his car, then making a joke of it, all those women he had sex with, (beauty is just a stigma) and his charming presence when he wasn’t drunk,  or not drunk enough to be annoying. He’ll be remembered for all the times he slept in his car, because he knew he was too drunk to drive. He’ll be remembered for bringing a smile to someone’s face who had a tough day, as long as you paid him enough, sometimes. He’ll also be remembered as a great dancer, or so I heard.

He will forever be remembered on Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, The Houston Chronicle, and other social media outlets in a Government Server somewhere hidden in a black site the aliens will find in a Thousand Years.


RIP 1975-2020, we  already burned you at The Crematory, so no afterlife worries.

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